we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
