Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We had sex on a dog bed..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize