spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
