living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize