They should really pass out barf bags in church
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
