HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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