He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
