We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
