I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
