I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
