He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
