I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
