I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
