The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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