you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
