one two three fourrrrnication!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
