Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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