yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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