There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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