he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
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Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
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Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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