He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize