i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Randomize
