She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
