I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
