They should really pass out barf bags in church
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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