Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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