and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
