First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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