Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
