Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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