so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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