Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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