i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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