I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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