I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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