she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
