I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize