i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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