it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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