What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
