What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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