this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
