I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I skipped work to stalk him.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
