So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize