fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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