I need help removing her.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize