I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
