dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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