I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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