Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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