Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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