I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
