I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
