these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
