Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
