Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize