I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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