I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
