THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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