How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
