If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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